A list of things to do instead of writing

Get drunk – I mean, we’re just starting with the basics

Get stoned – Write stoned, edit sober! 

Go dancing – Find inspiration in the space between bodies

Binge watch tv – Get lost in another person’s story

Write something you’re not supposed to be writing – This one could become two mirrors facing each other as you start more projects and create more to distract yourself from them into eternity

Work out – I gained a full 20 pounds of muscle last year through procrastination

Clean your house – The bathroom alone could eat up a day

Research - Shit, you can “research” forever

Do the Internet - Instagram!  Tik Tok!  Snapchat!  Dude, you could even go on facebook and watch our democracy fall apart.  Go crazy fam!

Read a book – Words words words

Read the news – Every day a new disaster, and they are all very interesting

Take a covid test – After reading the news, I think you will probably want to take a covid test anyway sooooo…

Go on vacation – This is an expensive distraction, but a big eater of time.  The world is wide.

Plan your outfits for the week – You want to look good while you don’t do the thing don’t you? 

Go to the theater – See people in spaces pretend to do things just like you’re pretending to write

Go for a walk – My friend Throb told me that it helps burn abs fat

Go to the park - In 2020 I made the park my office and just sat and held court for hours and hours.  Didn’t write a thing.

Catch up with friends – Conversations with loved ones can be a big help when wrestling with big ideas.

Zoom – The world is wide, but it fits on your screen

Look for new apartments – Even if you’re not moving, indulge in fantasy

Interpret your dreams – I have been lucid dreaming right now and it’s only given my mind more time to think

Watch pornography - *shrugging emoji

Do your hair – or shave your head if you are not blessed with hair

Ponder universal themes – the nature of happiness, the purpose of suffering, the undiscovered country

Compete – find a rival and outdo them!

Exact revenge – remember a slight and dig two graves!

Think – Honestly procrastination is a part of the process.  Take the long road round. See what you find.  Don’t beat yourself up.  The ideas will come.  You will get there.  Relax and just think…